A lot can happen in a matter of a week. Things sometimes move faster then you are ever prepared for. All I can afford to understand right now is that I need to improve myself. Not only for me, but for others around me. Don't get me wrong, I am not some horrible person. There just happens to be a few key characteristics that I need some work on. I am by no means bagging on myself, because the truth is so many other people need to focus on improving themselves. I don't believe in the actually changing of one's "personality". I full heartily believe in always staying true to yourself. And I have lived that way for as long as I can remember. However, sometimes coming to a compromise (on your behavior) between yourself, society, and the one's you love, is in the best interest of everyone and does not lose your personality in the mean time.
Now, for me there are a few things that I have taken upon myself to improve/heal.
1. Trust - I recently made a very stupid decision and acquired some information that I really really did not need to know. (Yet could not tear myself away from aquiring all the information once started) And also the act of aquiring the information was a huge betrayal towards this other person. This information caused me to lose trust in someone I keep very close to my heart. The information aquired has since been justified and forgiven. Unfortunately, I am unable to feel the same amount of trust I once had in this person. I know there is nothing to be untrusting of, but I cannot shake the feeling of jealousy and secrecy. And therefore that is the reason I am self-improving this subject of me. I am working slowly yet consistantly towards healing the pain I caused myself by aquiring unwanted information. And I am hoping that by posting how I feel here I will be able to get thoughts that now plague me out onto something (mostly) tangible and concrete. Because the abstract ways of the mind sometimes need to be made concrete before they can be understood and overcome.
The next item of self-improvement will be explained in the next blog.
Monday, July 10, 2006
Starting New
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1 comments:
I am trying to do the same type of thing, though mine is more in a physical manner. I just wanted to tell you that I agree with you and I think anyone who is willing to "come to terms" with themselves is admirable. It is so hard for people to realize that there is one specific thing they need to work on. But even more so to Isolate that thing and actually do something about it.
My hat is off too you. Good luck!
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