It Breaks

My heart. It breaks to think of how you could see another in that way. When all I could do is love you...think only of you, only of us. You were able to divide yourself. An unfinished split down the middle. One half still attach to me. The other to someone else. You were still whole (not quite fully detatched), still with me. But while one eye and 3/4 of your heart lay with me, the other looked around, and outward, you found another to give your attention to.

And now I find myself in tears. Thinking about it. Thinking about what happened. How it happened. Even now I can't seem to think of anyone but you. I try and try and try again. I want to take some of that guilt from you. The guilt for breaking my heart. I know that if I see another in that way it would help you. Make you feel just a little better. A little less guilty. I know this because your human. Everyone always feels a little better when the actions and situations that made them feel guilty are played out with the person who the guilt is for. They too are doing the thing that brought the guilt in the first place. It makes everything a tad easier.

There are so many things within myself that I can't ignore. I can't change the way I feel. I'm looking towards the divine spirit for guidance. I need to know that I'm not crazy.